Time For Change

Okay, so I'm not going to reintroduce myself again as you already know who I am despite my long absence. To be honest, I have no excuse for allowing this blog to fall to the wayside. Part laziness, part lack of motivation, and part melancholy are the contributing factors, I suppose.

Now, don't get me wrong, while I mention melancholy, I by no means want to imply that my time here in Finland has been glum. To the contrary! The last few months have been truly exciting and fun-filled. But (and this pains me to admit) I have been stuck in a rut since late September. I'm not sure how it happened exactly, but all I know is it did and once I came to that realization I knew something had to change.

I've decided to leave Finland prematurely. It was a tough decision to come to, but after much evaluation and consideration it seemed to be the right choice. A great deal of crying was done, and the guilt and feelings of failure have not altogether subsided. But, as a firm believer in the notion that life is too short, it was the only decision that sat right with me. I have always approached life with an attitude of "if you're not happy, change it." And though I have laughed, smiled, and enjoyed myself in Finland, I have not been truly happy. I did not have happiness that warranted a blog called Efflorescence. 


Coming to Finland I hoped to experience (as it says right there in the corner) a state or time of flowering. Unfortunately, that has not been the case. Again, I want to stress that I have had amazing experiences while living here and will look back on this time fondly, but in the last few months I've found that my character, body, and aspirations have taken a backseat. Certainly no one's fault but my own I tried to take credit and convince myself that change was possible here. I contemplated getting a gym membership, spending more time writing, working less, doing this more, doing this less, not doing this at all, ect, ect. But in the end, I realized that in my heart, I knew it was time to move on.

Some may call me a quitter (and at times I would agree), but this is my life, and if I were to die tomorrow, I would regret not taking certain actions. So that's settled.

Alright, enough with the dramatics! It's time to announce the exciting things! Though I contemplated returning to The States (as homesick as I was sometimes it seemed like the best option) I ultimately decided to do something a bit crazy. A little apprehensive as first, I then realized that the moment I began toying with this alternative option I was already much, much happier. Taking extra care in assuring it was the right setting for me, I now feel quite comfortable with this idea. So yes, here it is, I'M MOVING TO PARIS! Assuming all goes well with my visa I will be moving this Christmas- eek! Now, I don't want to delve into the details, but I assure you they will reveal themselves in time.

In the meantime, I will be devoting myself to my last weeks in Finland and chronicling them here (I promise I will not leave you hanging again!). I would also like to share some past experiences and stories that have not yet had their time to shine.

So yes, that's all for now. Write soon. H